A significant chunk of the money I earned at my stint testing on-site down south was funnelled right back into the game industry. I think I've spent more money on games in the past month than in the entire year previous, as I mentioned before. I may as well use them to generate some content. SO ehre is the first in a series of quickie reviews of the things I've bought:

GameCube: Nintendo's next-gen console is stilla toy, not an entertainment center like their competitor's consoles. However, it is a very fun toy. I have it set up in the living room as the multi-player system, since it has 4-player capability right out of the box, and the dog won't knock the damn thing off the shelf by tripping over controller wires since I have WaveBirds connected to it. My roomie bought a DVD player, and the PS2 (which served as a (pretty crappy) DVD player) has been moved to my room for single-player gaming.

The GameCube does, of course, have first-party games for it which blow almost everything else out of the water. Shigeru Miyamoto can't seem to design a controller that doesn't end up looking like the prototype was crafted out of Play-Doh by a 6-year old, but the man can really make an excellent Mario or Zelda game. Which is why I bought a GameCube. Plus, it's sooo cuuuuute!

This was mentioned by Jess in the comments, but I think it deserves its own post. Apparently polygamist sect leaders are upset that Santorum lumped them in with homosexuals and adulterers. After all, you can't cheat on your wife if your mistress is your wife too!

Frankly, as a libertarian who want so do everything possible to crush the sanctity of the family, I think all of the things Santorum mentioned in his little laundry list of threats to the American family should be totally legal. I have no moral problem with polygamy. If you want to marry more than one person, and all parties are fine with it, then great! Knock yourself out, just don't be surprised when it doesn't really work out the way you intended. Adultery is currenlty legal, but needs to be controlled. Essentially, if you can get a signed statement from your spouse that it's okay for you to sleep with other people, then by all means, have at it. If no statement is forthcoming, it should be prosecuted as a breach of contract. Or maybe you could set up a J-Lo style cheating charge account where you have to pay your spouse X amount of dollars for every other person you hump.

I have no problem with incest being legalized. Again, if you and your sibling both really want to go at it, then hell, I'm certainly not going to jump in and stop you. Just don't be surprised if everyone thinks you are fucking disgusting and shuns you forever. Bestiality should also be completely legalized, as long as total consent can be established from both parties, via testimony or a written statement.

However, I do feel that old people should be legally forbidden from even ever getting naked, because that is just grody.

Dang it, the leader of PETA stole my idea! Except she's doing it to make a point of the inconsideration that people give the animals from which their products come, whereas I thought it would simply be gross and weird to have myself cooked after I died.

It's the one thing you get that's all for you. Birthdays happen every year, and you have to share the glory of a wedding with someone else, but a funeral is totally and completely dedicated to oneself, and you only get one. Once I start getting to be about that age, I'm going to plan out every detail of my funeral, from the catering to the DJ to the pyrotechnics. In case I die before then, I will leave this one simple instruction: People must leave my funeral thinking, "That was the most awesome funeral I have ever been to. I wish Ken would die again so that we could have another."

While I'm pondering it, here are some epitaphs I'd like to see on my own personal tombstone:

Help!

BRB

Ahhhhh....

Oh my god, why didn't I accept Jesus into my heart?!! The lake of fire burns me so!!! Ha ha, just kidding.

ISO SWF Necrophiliac

Game Over

Although Senator Santorum made some scary comments about homosexual's right to getting it on and about the right to privacy in general. I have to admit that the interview with Santorum from which the scary quotes were pulled generated my favorite AP quote (which contains a typo, to boot) of the year thus far:

AP: I'm sorry, I didn't think I was going to talk about "man on dog" with a United States senator, it's sort of freaking me out.

In case you haven't heard, Santorum's been making statements equating consensual non-coital sex to bigamy, polygamy, and adultery, and generally saying that the "right to privacy" is not a right. He seems to promote mandated morality, in short. I wonder if he's ever gotten a blowjob? If not, that explains a lot.

Yesterday I was told not to use obscure words in my bugs, because the developers might not understand what I'm talking about. The word in question was "kerning". Now, I don't mean to get down on the developers I'm working with now, but if the person who's doing the front end UI doesn't know what kerning is, then they should hire me to help.

You know, I think treating animals ethically is a great idea too, but this kind of nonsense just screams "Freedom Fries" to me. Goes to show that there is inanity on either side of any issue.

CONGRATURATION!

You passed level: Iraq - Saddam Hussein 2003

Level Score:

Combat Casualties: 85
Accidental/Friendly Fire Casualties: 45
Civilians Killed: 2000+
Enemies Captured: 7000+
Enemies Killed: Unknown

Primary Mission Objectives:

Bring an end to Saddam Hussein's Regime: Successful
Pave the way for the American Corporation-led rebuilding of Iraq: Successful

Secondary Mission Objectives:

Kill President Saddam Hussein: Failed
Prove link between Iraq and terrorist organizations: Failed
Uncover weapons of mass destruction: Failed
Re-establish bond of trust with UN countries: Failed
Make an even marginal effort to convince anyone that this was ever about freedom for the Iraqi people: Failed

Overall Invasion Rank : C

Challenge Next Level: Iraq - Generalissimo Jay Garner - 2011