Whatever it is, have a happy one.

You know, I care for Nazis about as much as the next guy, unless the next guy is like... a Nazi or something, but still I think it's pretty ridiculous to try and make EBay prevent all french users from accessing any Nazi paraphenalia on their site.

Personally, I think tracking the sales of that sort of stuff would make a great addition to expanding the Expendable Citizenry list, in addition to purchasers of Big Mouth Billy Bass and Precious Moments figurines.

It's that time of year again: Mall Surfing.

The rules are few, the fun is unlimited. All you need ot do is find a few willing friends and a mall right around the holiday rush. The goal? To get from one side of the mall to another without being stopped by mall security and preferably without running into anyone. The way Paris and I play is you can't be running. So it's like a combination of speedwalking and a constantly shifting obstacle course.

We start at Macy's and then after a count of three we're off. The mall we surf is particularly interesting becuase it has two floors which are accessible by apparently randomly-placed escalators. People tend to follow the logical stay-on-the-right side traffic rules, but soe do not, which makes it all the more interesting. Familes, hand-holding couples, large groups of teenage girls are some of the hazards one must learn to deal with by picking out patterns in people-movement, slipping sideways between people, and sometimes executing a showboaty spin for effect.

Of course, it helps if you've already got all your Christmas shopping done and aren't distracted. Having a few drinks beforehand probbaly wouldn't hurt either.

What the hell?
Sometimes I'm glad I can't read Japanese. Try clicking on the right characters to go forward.

(thanks? Drunkenmonkeyboy)

oops, double posted yesterday, oh dang. Guess I'm still stupid in the head form the snot.

Sad Christmas : (

A few days late, but the world is now worse off for the death of singer Kirsty MacColl. Apparently Kirsty was swimming in Mexico with her children when she was struck by a speedboat which was motoring in a swimmer's-only area. So apparently good and wonderful and talented people die when they are behaving responsibly but when drunken rock stars careen their cars off the road they lose an arm at worst. It's like how the drunken drivers always walk away from car accidents while some schoolbus full of children roasts at the bottom of a rocky gorge.

I hate it when celebrities I actually care about die, like Carl Sagan and Jim Henson. Why couldn't it have been Fred Durst? Pfffttt. Fred Durst was probably driving the speedboat. Hmmm, maybe the world isn't fair after all? Go figure.

Yay! www.1moredork.com will now send you directly here. Hopefully I'll have my own e-mail address here pretty soon. What is it with Yahoo Domains and their POP adresses using "%" instead of "@"? Whaaaaatever.

Ugh, spent yesterday not at work. I feel kinda like I swallowed a gallon of rancid bongwater or something. Bleah. Stupid cold. You know what's really good for colds? Screwdrivers. Not the kind you jam into your eyesocke to re-arrange your frontal lobe, although that's good too. The kind with orange juice and vodka. Orange Juice for health. vodka to take the edge off and also it clears out your sinuses, I find. Mmmmm.... booooze.

Ugh, spent yesterday not at work, and I'm still feeling below the weather, as it were. Like I swallowed a gallon of rancid bongwater as it is. As it was, was it is? You is what you is you is or is you isn't my baby? Still slightly delirious, having difficulty concentratin on um... tasks? Control, Manage, Enjoy. Share and Enjoy, Ignorance is strength. Ignorance is bliss. Bliss is therefore Strength.

In bed.

Feeling ill, publicly chastised for falling asleep in a departmental meeting duting a presentation on (ironically enough) how to give interesting presentations, have absolutely no hildya shopping done.

No, I don't think I'm going to the office Christmas party after all.

Urrrrrrggghhhh.... Okay, I admit it, I spent most of this weekend in a stupor. My mouth feels like I ate a whole box of Cap'n Crunch with no milk. I'm thinking a great cure for shredded-beef mouth at this point would be some quesedillas with plenty guacamole.