What am I doing tonight? I'll tell you what I'm doing:

boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch boom tsch...

doot doot doot doo dee doo dee doo dee doo dee doo

doot doot doot doo dee doo dee doo dee doo dee doo

doot doot doot doo dee doo dee doo dee doo dee doo

doot doot doot doo dee a wah ooh wah ohh wah ohh

BOOM tsch BOOM tsch BOOM tsch BOOM tsch BOOM tsch BOOM tsch BOOM tsch BOOM tsch ...

You get the idea... yeeee-aahahhhhh....

So, they released that Tomb Raider movie trailer online today. You know, i was pretty skeptical about its chances. Was it going be the next Mortal Kombat(Yeah, I like the Mortal Kombat movie, so there : P As long as you own it on DVD and just skip everything but the fights.), or the next Double Dragon(Good for a laugh, but a short-ahired blonde Alyssa Milano is its sole saving grace.)? After seeing the trailer, I was a little unimpressed at first, but then it got all sick and bungee-cordee, motorcycle jumpy submachinegunny. It doesn't look good, but It looks like I must see it.

Now what would really make the movie is if they had a scene of Angelina Joli desperately trying to jump up onto a ledge just in front of her 3 or four times. slowly sidestepping ot the left, trying again, re-holstering her pistols... taking a careful step forward.....

My doctor once told me that I have very strong abdominal muscles, and asked if I exercise regularly.

I told her, "No, but I do a lot of laughing."

And she said that was actually one of the best exercises for them.

There, dagnabbit, I had to hack that system, but I got it fixed. I'll neevr do an ending link tag inside the end of the referring markup again. that is some wacky gas.

R3ZP3|<+ D33Z |\/|@D 133+ |-|@XX0R Z|<1LLZ YO!!!!

Okay, so I just nabbed the id# of my last post and counted bakward until I got access, whatever.

hmm, blog is jacked, and blogger won't let me fix it. I've had it with computers for today... time to uh.... read a book or something.

There's an interesting op-ed piece at halflife.net about harassment in multiplayer gaming. Shirow is of the opinion that lady gamers should learn to deal with harassment as part of gaming because talkin' trash is part of the game. And you know what, it really is. I mean, it's crude and vulgar and disgusting and immature, but it's a part of the game. And people will get on your case for whatever they can , so if you have a feminine handle, they're gonna get on your case about being a girl. I'll tell you, the most fun way to deal with trash-talkin', foul-mouthed teenagers in a multiplayer FPS environment is to very polite to them, they hate that. Especially when you're polite to them as you wipe the floor with their avatars.

I'm typing this entry prematurely in Simpletext becuase my fucking computer has crashed the last two times I typed the whole damn thing in Blogger.

SO, I'm doing laundry with Shannon and Ernie last night and while looking for some reading material, I find among the stacks of the usual 7-month old copies of Time and Women's Week, a pile of brand-new, snappily produced comic books called "Project: Generation". Now, I'm wary of free comics as much as the next guy, so I figure it must be some sort of youth-oriented churchified jesus thing.

So all right, should be good for a laugh, I think. This self-proclaimed "manga/graphic novel" (it's not a fucking manga if it's not fucking japanese! That's like saying, "Hang on, I have to go get my chausseres/shoes from my cabasa/house", but i digress) stars as it's hip, youthful heroes: Go, the Korean dude; Shannon, the Half-Chinese love interest; Lenny, the Chinese best-friend; and Cye, the Phillipino Computer Genius. they run aroudn beign hip and youthful and participating in various cool, hip, X-treme activities and learna bout the evil SMK corporation, headed by Joseph, the old white guy; Adolf, the old white guy; and Leopold, the old white guy. SMK has a nefarious plan called Project Generation, which was tested on the Pacific Rim countries and is now being levelled at North America, and has something to do with the death of Go's father.

So hmm... no overtly religious message yet, is it subtler than that or... wait, hang on a moment... "SMK corporation"... "Prject: Generation"... "truth publications"...? Holy smokes! It's about um... smoking!

That's right, the same "truth publications" that produces those PSA's about the "Tobacco Memorial" and "What if other products killed 1 out of 3 of its users?" (Admittedly, i thought that "Splode" spt was pretty amusing) So, is it just me, or does this make you feel like running outside and lighting up an entire pack of Camels out of spite?

Now, I'm not a hip Asian youth or anything, but I would feel insulted that "truth" feels the need to trick me into reading anti-smokig propoganda. I mean, I don't want kids to start smoking any more than the next guy, but to try and use a subculture's lingo nd whatnot to try and sneak a message, now matter how positive, past them makes the "truth" campaign look even more fogeyfied than the stereotypical tobacco executives in their commercials.

I'll tell you how to do an effective PSA, get Vanilla Ice or like... the New Kid on the Block no one liked... um.... Danny. Now get them to saw te following lines while lighting up:

"Hey Homeys! After I bust a fresh def jam, I like to kick back and chill like a villian with a couple Marlboros! Mmm... that smooth flavor is totally phat, yo! It's off the hiznook! Marlboro: Welcome to the flava hood!"

That or you could get Tyra Banks to do a short 5 second spot in a slinky negligee:

"I would never ever fuck a smoker."

Sighh.... so yeah, I was thinking whatever it cost to write, illustrate and publish however many hundreds of thousands of copies of this 30-page, full-color comic book sure would have bought a lot of food.

At least they got their target market nailed down, those Koreans, Chinese and Phillipinos * are freakin' fiends.

* Okay, not nessecarily smokin' tobacco, but you get the idea.

How much would you pay to be a character in your favorite authors book? Too bad Irvine Welsh isn't doing it, I'd pay big bucks to be a dead Scottish tranvestite crack hooker.

If only William Burroughs weren't dead....

Despite being neither Chinese nor a girl, I found this pretty amusing.

In case you never ever hear from me again, I'm dead.

Min Jung did it.

"There's no emoticon for what I'm feeling!"

So, AIM bothers putting in such useless smileys as "put your money where your mouth is", "my lips are sealed" and "joe cool", but omits such nessecities as:

• Seething
  
• Stoned
  
• Having an Orgasm
  
• Laughing
  
• Condescension
  
• Raised Eyebrow
  
• Bucktoothed, Cross-eyed and Inbred
  
• Bored
  
• Psychotic
  
• Confused
  
• Aroused
  
• Disgusted
  
  

So, while at home again on Sunday, I looked through my old room to see if there was anything I desperately needed to take back with me. Hmmm... old Dungeons & Dragons rulebooks, vaguley racist ceramic chinese couple, model airplanes, Super Nintendo Poster. I decided to bring back my thouroughly mangled copy of Douglas Coupland's Microserfs.

Long before I became an actual internet "professional", this book was my Bible, my Torah, my Dianetics. It is my all time number one favorite book still. It encouraged me to keep a journal during my freshman year of high school, most likely influenced my career choices and certainly inspired me to try and be a more profound and interesting person.

This particular copy was destroyed by a violent fit of drunken lesbian sex (But what a way to go...), which seperated the interior from the spine (of the book, not the lesbians). I'd get another copy, but this one is very important to me, I must've read it at least 5 times. Plus it's difficult to fid this book in a hardcover. So now I need to find a place that will repair books. I'd probably end up paying more than was paid for the book originally, but it'll be worth it.

Douglas Coupland, you are a literary deity, I want to lick your brain.

EEEWWWWW!!!!!! I mean, Mononoke Hime was pretty cute and all but..... EEEWWWW!!!!!!
(thanks? to Roboyokozuna)

i thnks the fact tha most of the interente seems to hink this an okay way to tpye is cuase wegrew up plying video gmes wtih dlaidog liek thsi

For the record, I beat Ernie down at Tekken. His "Knowing all the combos" style was no match for my "mash the buttons as fast as possible" style. I must admit there were other factors involved.

Yup, Asians may have the culture, but us Bok-Gwais have the alcohol tolerance.

Hallelujah! Finally, a ministry that concentrates on those torn between following the spirit of Jesus and wanting to mow down demons with a gatling gun. Check out the reviews, did you know that Diablo is rife with occult imagery? No kidding.

You know, one of Nader's ideas that I took issue with was that he felt comanies should not donate computers and whatnot to schoools because they might influence their curriculum or somesuch.

"That's a little extreme", I thought.

Now I'm not so sure.

Did you know that when one gets one's genitals pierced, they actually advise that one masturbates daily, in order to promote blood flow and healing and what not?

Well, if not, you do now.

And even though I know she doesn't read this, I'd like to wish my sister a happy birthday today. Thanks for wiping the snot off my nose.

So, I'm sure you've all by now heard the Chicken McNoggin story. I don't see how it can't be a hoax. If I walk into a McDonald's and I order Chicken Mcnuggets, I know that it's made of reconstituted chicken granules, and I'm pretty sure they powder the whole chicken before smashing it into nugget shapes, and I eat them anyhow. Incidentally, you ever notice how there are only four different McNugget shapes? They may try to make them look fairly organically shaped, like they may have been sliced whole from an actual complete chicken part, but they're not fooling anyone, they could make them perfectly circular for all I care. I know that every time I eat a hot dog, ground beef or Chicken McNugget, I'm essentially agreeing to eat whatever parts fell into the grinder.

I find the most interesting piece of info in this story however, to be that in Virginia, apparently, you can order chicken wings specifically. Here in CA, if you order some specific part of an animal at McDonald's, I'm pretty sure they laugh at you. "We don't serve legs, ribs, wings, necks, giblets, breast, thigh or head, we serve nuggets or patties." Admittedly, nuggets and patties could be construed as being euphimisms for specific parts, but I'm gonna leave that one alone.