Duh, of course the CSS can't use the "blogger" as a selector, becuase it will disappear when the blogger text is generated. so, I've got that figured out, and this style will do until I think of an actual typography scheme.

Damn stylesheets. I'm sure I'll have this 100% sussed soon enough.

My in-class essay on "The Malleability of the English language", that got me kicked out from my Modern Linguistics class:

When I was in grade school, our popular euphimism for fellatio was "slarve dode". No lie, we used to tell each other "slarve a dode!" Of course, us being in grade school, the symantecs were not as important as it's dismissive tone, but we still could deifne what it meant if pressed. Now, I've asked many of my modern-day associates if their schools had a similar terminology and no one can recall it. I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps mine was the only school that used it.

To me, most likely because it's a term I used in my youth, it seems like the perfect verb, "to slarve" "slarver, je slarve, tu slarves, nous slarvons" Really none of the current euphimisms precisely describe the action involved. "Blow" seems terrible in its implication that one would somehow wind up with one's penis inflated. "Suck" sounds equally unpleasant. "Lick" and "Bob" seems partially correct, but the action is still not accurately captured. "To give head" if a fairly accurate description of the process, and is applicable to both sexes, but

This is why I would propose Americans adopt "slarve" as their new fellatiotic euphimism. It has no synonyms to avoid confusion, and it can describe exactly the action performed, which would apply only to the act of fellatio or cunnilingus (essentially, they are the same tone and motion involved regardless of whether performed upon a man or woman) or to the implied sex act upon another object, such as a banana, strawberry, fingers or taco. Even without the symantics, the sound of the word itself brings to mind the experience of... well, y'know.

Let us not let this descriptive, unmistakable, onomatopoeically correct word fade away! It was born to be attached to this action and has risen to the task! Let its sibilance ring through the locker rooms and tea parties, from the gutters of our cities to the dome of congress! If anyone asks you to stick to the traditional euphimisms, let them know that they can "Slarve a dode!"


Not to be y'know... negative or anything.


Phew, I just beat Zelda II: The Adventure of Link.

Not to go into old fogey mode, but man, kids these days have it easy, games used to be hard. Not that Zelda II is a prime example, but it certianly is more difficult, it seems to me, than it's modern-day counterparts. And not to mention the first Zelda. Or maybe it was just more aggravating, since it took pretty much a pattern of "burn bush, move to next bush, burn bush, move to next bush" to find the secrets in the game. Nowadays, you generally have at least some clue as to where to look for secrets and how far along you are in the game (Although the FInal Fantasy series still remains true to its form of having the more esoteric stuff be mind-bogglingly difficult to find, belive me I have nothing but respect for FAQ-writers).

I think the best example is the Metal Gear series. I never actually played all the way through the original Metal Gear, since my friend had it back in the day and he showed me the ending before I even tried it. However, I tried it recently after playing the Metal Gear: Solid series, and I just could not do it. The typos were amusing, but how on Earth they expected you to figure out that jungle maze witout any hints whatsoever was beyond me.

And we used to do it all for barely any reward at all. Most arcade-style games at least allowed you to have a high-score, but adventure games ahd little-to no plot. Of course the developers were limited by the storage capacities of the time, but most games were simply the save-the-princess variety. And we liked it! Our endings consisted of the princess saying "Congraturation, you are hero for all people!" and maybe, maybe a kiss on the cheek.

At least, that's all you got on the screen, You get the feeling like you actually accomplished something for once in your life. Maybe it didn't happen in reality, but still it was difficult and took patience and training and you did it, for just a text message and a 3-frame animation. These days we've got full-blown DVD-quality FMV's with surround-sound. The balance between how much we put into a game and how much we get out of it has really shifted.

I like to play these older games once in a while, not just to relive the memories of a simpler age, when I probably could have come up with a story and concept like that, but to prove to myself that I've still got it. It's hard to believe that games I had no trouble with when I was a kid seem so difficult to me now. I must be spoiled on these more cinematic games these days, where you feel like you're watching a movie. I mean, complex sotrylines and MFV are all well and good, but I don't want to feel like my in-game actions are the equivalent of pushing the "Next Chapter" button on a DVD. I mean, I had to wait for up to 20 minutes for the cutscenes in Final Fantasy X sometimes.

Sometimes I would watch these things and then stare at the screen for another 10 seconds before realizing it was my turn to move the character 5 yards before the next cutscene began. Back in FF7, they still had the cutscenes, but I really felt as if I were working for them. I'd like to see these youngsters get through a game of Dragon Warrior! That'd teach 'em. Back when our battle system consisted of "hit" and "run away". Hee heh heh heh! And nary a cutscene in site!

Anyhow, enough with the grizzled old prospecter routine. Though today's gamers are able to hand me my ass in a game of "Street Fighter Vs. Capcom 3x Turbo Alpha Hyper extreme Mega-Battle" at least I know I'll be able to beat these whippersnappers at Combat.


I told my mom that I had attended my first seder ever, and after being harangued for not attending any Catholic ceremonies, I was told that if I wanted to convert, that was fine with her.

Hmmm... Matzos or chocolate crosses? Sorry, but I'll take confectionary messiah execution methods over unleavened bread any time.

Speaking of which, I have arranged the contents of one of the three (yes, three) open boxes of matzos on our kitchen table into a sort of matzo house. Eating it isn't so great, but it sure is durable and has handy ridges, which makes it a fairly modular construction device.

Mmmm.... where's the rest of that Maneschewitz... sweet sweet Maneschewitz.

My new favorite blog.

Happy post-Zombie Jesus Day everyone!

Donna and I both made Easter candy baskets for each other. The scary thing is that we each got each other the exact same brand of lovely chocolate cross. Now if only they had a choco-Jesus dangling from it, oozing rasperry filling out from the spear wound in his side.