Do you like molecular biology? Or the F-word? Then you will appreciate the notebook of Steve. There's something reassuring about the fact that Steve is obtaining a PhD in a subject I can barely pronounce, but that he still says the same thing I do when things don't work.

Actually, that's funny, because when things don't work at his job, that's bad. When things don't work at my job, that's good... sorta. As demanding as it can be sometimes, I guess I probably do have the dream job of many a teenager. I get paid not only to play video games all day, but am encouraged to break them.

Steve also makes killer music that makes you chuckle. Soon I will write okay music that might make you kinda sorta smile a little bit maybe. Don't want to get any expectations too high, after all.

I am 24 years old. Why do I have Otter-Pop-induced oral lacerations?


So, I went and saw the Scooby-Doo flick last night. I have to admit that I honestly enjoyed it. Everyone I had heard said it was just terrible, pointless, completely without merit and a waste of time. Naturally, I just had to see it, since I'm one of those strange folk who really genuinely enjoy a bad flick. I think the trick to such things that that you have to be in the right mindframe, meaning a head full of dozj no expectations.

It comes natural to some, and some have been trained on years of MST3K (like myself), and understand the inherent humor of things which are meant to be one thing and end up entirely as another. Specifically, in this case, I speak of the unfunny. The way I see it, things can be broken down like this:

Every thing is either:

A) Funny

B) Not funny


C) Unfunny

Funny things are great. Well of course, they are, they're funny, like kumquats, spatulas, and Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Not funny things are also just that, things which have no real inherent or implied funny value, such as twigs, C-SPAN, or Rosemary's Baby. Unfunny things are those which have an implied funniness, but fail to actually possess it, such as most Christian bumper stickers, Laffy Taffy wrapper jokes, and Big Top Pee Wee.

Scooby Doo had much of the first and last. Funny was Matthew Lillard's fantastic portayal of Shaggy. Unfunny was Scrappy urinating on Daphne. I'm low enough to appreciate a good fart joke, and fart jokes there were indeed, but I have yet to find a cinematic micturation gag that made me even chuckle.

I dug the way that the movie added some meat to the members of Mysteries, Inc and verified the underlying tension of the group that we always though must be there. Freddie was made out to be a narcissistic, shallow pretty-boy. Daphne had self-worth issues after being kidnapped for the umpteenth time. Velma (totally hot, as played by Freaks and Geeks alumnus Linda Cardellini. I can't believe they removed the lesbian kissing scene. I think I honestly would have paid an extra dollar admission for that.) felt that she wasn't getting enough recognition for all her ideas. And Shaggy and Scooby... well, they're still walking stomachs, of course, but they have some moments together that were ...*sniff*... just so sweet!

I was confused and uninterested by the plot, pretty much, some foofaraw about a haunted amusement park island. But if you're watching Scooby Doo for the plot, then you're... uh... going to be disappointed. There is a twist, though, that really redeemed the whole film in my eyes.

So, it is schlocky fare and should probably never have happened, but it did. I'm glad it did. I admit it, I genuinely enjoyed the film, and my Scooby snacks wore off halfway through the 20 frickin' minutes of commercials we had to sit through before the movie even got started (Remember when the curtains on the sides of the movie screen would actually close? Those were the days).

Okay, enough of this, I've got to get to work. But if I had to sum up the Scooby Doo movie in two words, it woudl have to be these: Disco Skull.


I don't usually post from work due to the fact that I don't have my own computer. But I just saw this and wanted to say, "FUCK YEAH!" I may be a little late in getting to that, but it's the coolest thing I've seen all day and made me smile. You can find out how it was made here.

I'm pretty sure if my car turned into a giant robot, it would need a cane.


I'm really a whole lot more excited about this than I would care to readily admit on a webpage that is easily accessible to milllions and millions of people. Oops.

Well, it's always a good ego-stroker to be linked on someone else's blog, especially a high-roller like Ernie. But then I read back over the article, realize how many spelling and grammatical errors there are, and feverishly correct the whole thing so I don't look like a drooling dolt in front of all this new traffic.

Hello, new traffic! I am not a drooling dolt! Honest!

Anyhow, Ernie mentioned Jem and The Holograms (whom I absolutely dug (Yes, they kicked ass. No I'm not gay.)) in his post. That reminds of an event which happened today (seeing a 15 year old wearing a "The Misfits" T-shirt), which sent me off into my spiel about Hot Topic, which I may or may not have posted already.

So Hot Topic (AKA: "Pop Gothic", AKA: "The store in a mall in which you find things which one shouldn't find in a store in a mall") sucks. They suck because they have shirts in there I really want, but I cannot bring myself to purchase from Hot Topic, because that means that I'll be sharing a wardrobe with 15 year olds (no offense intended to 15 year olds, but if you're 15 years old, you know how much 15 year olds can suck). Ami was wearing a really cool Labyrinth T-shirt today, which she reluctantly admitted she bought at Hot Topic. That's okay, though. Not just because I'm totally hot for Ami, but because she's old enough to have appreciated the film genuinely and should be free to express her appreciation for it. If Hot Topic is the only place where one can find Labyrinth T-shirts, then well, that's what you gotta do.

The problem is kids buying these things strictly for their kitsch value, not for nostalgiac value or for genuine appreciation. The things of my childhood are not kitsch! They were really truly awesome and radical! Kistch is what the generation before mine appreciated in their childhood. If I had my way, customers would be forced to answer a questionairre for all retro pop-culture merchandise. For instance, if someone wants to buy, say.... a Labyrinth T-shirt, they should have to answer the following:

1) Who was the large hairy beast who accompanied Sarah?

2) What babe?

3) Why is Labyrinth the greatest creation of mankind?

Bonus: Name three famous artists who had works represented in the film.

Anyone failing to answer such a questionairre would be forcibly removed from the store and made to buy Dragonball-Z T-shirts from Miller's Outpost instead. Anyone correctly answering the bonus question gets 25% off their purchase. Then these items of clothing would represent a genuine appreciation instead of a proclivity towards mall-shopping.

In case you were wondering, here are the answers:

1) Ludo
2) The babe with the power
3) It fucking kicks so much ass that it's not even funny.
Bonus) David Bowie, M.C. Escher, Jim Henson and David Froud are all acceptable answers.