Well, I'm taking off, time for


Sorry Ernie, but as far as Asian people I know, you couldn't pay them a gauranteed million dollars to go camping, let alone stand them on a desert island.

"I guess since we figured out civilization so much earlier, we've gotten used to it."

Let's see, today I still need to pack all my crap for the Vegas trip for which I leave tomorrow morning. I hope I'm not a compulsive gambler. I've neevr been to vegas but I figure if I set aside a hundred or so bucks to gamble and once it's gone, it's gone, that should do me fine. I don't entertain any dreams of actualy making money. I'm pretty sure that no one leaves Vegas with more money than they came with. It's been agreed that if anyone hits it big, though, they need to pay for food for the rest of the people for the rest of the trip.

I also have to finish writing this song for Flogging A Dead Cow, the Dead Milkmen tribute album. I'm a little dissapointed that moer earlier songs weren't chosen for it. It almost seems like most peope took something out of Beezlebubba. It's not a complete representation of the Milkmen's career, but there are some good bands doig stuff, so it should turn out pretty interesting, I daresay.

Plus I would like to set aside a large block of time for phone usage. Christmas may bring people together, but it also puts insurmountable geographic wedges between others. Stupid Christmas.

It's just not the same without Kirsty. *sniff*

"Fairytale of New York" beign one of my favorite christams dirges. Also I like "Carol of The Bells", but I think that's it.... yup, pretty much.


More symptoms of Dorkitis:

#5 You get incensed by bumper stickers claiming that "Jesus is the reason for the season!" and will tel anyone within earshot that the 23 degree tilt of the Earth's axis is the real reason for the season.

#6 You hear about the movie "The 5th Element" and wonder, "Why would anyone want to watch a movie about Boron?"

Holiday Bong:

Take one Christmas Tree bulb, Pierce a hole in the bulb to the diameter of a candy cane and positioned so that when the stem is pushed through you have about 1 cm clearance from the bottom of the bulb and about a 2 cm protruding from the outside of the bulb. Drill a hole through the entirety of two large candy cane sticks, so they're like a straw. Insert one into the side hole for your hose and the other into the top for your stem. make the seals airtight by placing figgy pudding around the edges of the cane. Place a regular tobacconists bowl atop the stem, seal with more figgy pudding. now, drill a shotgun hole about 3/4's the way up the bulb. Fill your bong with egg nog about 2 cm below where you cut the stem hole then pack your bowl with mistle-toe.

Enjoy! And when the mistle-toe is cashed, you can all enjoy a round of warm bong-nog...mmmm.....

I'm back. I hope y'all had a happy merry. My current obnoxious Christmas greeting: "Merry Fuckmas, Christface!"

So I did the whole going home to visit the family dilio. Super Stressmas for me, I had some Pre-holiday tension. I had to do with the shopping and the wrapping, which I hate and then I fucked up 2/3rds of the rugelach I was baking for christmas cookies. Rolling those little bastards is hard, and then all the jam comes squeezing out and it makes them stick to the wax paper, ugh. Maybe I'll try again next year with my newfound wisdom that baking rugelach is realy freakin' hard.

Went and saw that Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Squatting Serpent, Creeping Ivy, Smashing Pumpkin movie on Saturday with Min Jung and Ernie up at the Metreon. Aw man.... werrrrrrrr her her herd. That Ziyi Zhang girl is fiiiiiiiine. Plus she whups some serious tail. I could just imagine a hot date with her... "C'mon, honey, kick my ass! Please? Just beat the crap out of me. Do that crazy reverse kick thing you did on Chen Chang. We can have sex later, just kick my ass!"

Or not, anyhow. I really would like to offer a few suggestions for re-inventing the gift-givig process of Christmas.

1. Just get the kids stuff. I mean, it's so easy for me to shop for my nephews. I go into the toy store, and find something I want, and then give it to JD. then find some Duplos for Jacob. Of course then I wanted to play with their stuff,

Me: "No, wait, here JD check it out, his arm comes back and it snaps forward like a dragon head, RAARR!!!"
JD: "Can I have it back now?"
Me: "Hang on a minute, see, his wings make a shield!"

2. The "Pick-A-Name-Out-The-Hat" thang. Which my aunt suggested we do next year. Then you can focus your efforts on just one person and save yourlsef plenty of time. Of course, you might get somone for whom you have no idea how to shop. Which could suck.

3. Just skip presents, but then the kids are pissed.

Well, my friends and I decided to give each other back the time and energy we would have spent shopping for each other, which suits me just fine. Funny, seeing as how it's easier to shop for my friends than for my family, but oh well. Stupid presents...

Of course, all that attitude changed since I got a PalmPilot for Christmas, hell yeah!