Additionally: Lupin 3 stick on side burns!!! Jean creaming to commence as of now!

Okay, so some fools maybe didn't believe me that I saw Lupin the 3rd in an arcade game, so here's the proof if you scroll own a little bit. Eh? eh? I had the pleasure of playing one of only 550 Cliffhanger machines made, I feel so priviledged, and yes indeed, the ninja fight scene was impossible. I feel vindicated at last!

I was discussing the concept of glass harmonicas online today with Big Old Body, he said he actually heard some, and I amnaged to find this webpage with sound samples. It's got a pretty interesting tone which I would imagine would come through much better in live performance than on mp3. Seems well suited to new age massage music.

The glassharmonica is like what would happen if someone took the idea of playing those musical wine glasses and stuck them on a lathe. Apparently it was Ben Franklin who first invented it, but then again, what didn't he invent? I'd love to see this thing performed live. Seems like an accident waiting to happen.

Not nearly as dangerous as those glass timpanis though...

Grab your wallets folks, Nader 2000 T-shirts are on sale!!!!

You know, those T-shirts will be rad in exactly 50 years, so invest now.

I checked out Jill Matrix's web site today, and I think I may have unknowingly ripped off her swimming-in-pool-picture idea. Doh.

Just in case you were wondering, the song was "Running Down A Dream" by Tom Petty. Yeah, ha ha ha.

Last night, I finally had an important rite of passage into manhood: I crashed my car.

Oh it was nothing serious, I was listening to something a little to peppy on the radio and going too fast on wet pavement, and managed to spin my car around and into a concrete pillar. Turned on my hazard lights, made a "Whoops, silly me! Ran my car into the underpass, ha ha!" face at the car across the intersection, but I'm pretty sure they didn't care. Only the right front side is crunched up a bit, and a little bit of judicious engine work this morning cleared up that rattling sound that followed the accident. Unfortuantely, I anthropomorphize my cara great deal and spent quite a bit of time in the driveway afterwards apologizing to it.

My only damage is my ego. Before this I could honestly say I'd never driven my car into anything before. Mind you, I had pushed my car into a tree once. But that's not driving it into anything, a distinction i will argue to absurdity. All that is gone now, I'm just a bad a driver as those common folk. I'm sure it won't be long before I'm pulled over for the first time.

Sighhh...... I guess it's time to admit I'm not as perfect as I may seem. I know, I know, tough to believe, but it's true.

Addendum to records I need more than nutrition and sleep:

• Snow - Informer (Jungle remix (or original, for that matter))
  
• Nalin & Kane - Beachball
  
• Darude - Sandstorm
  
• C+C Music Factory - Gonna Make You Sweat
  
• DJ Tandu - Send Me An Angel
  
• Sunchyme & Dario - Life in a Northern Town
  
• One of them happycore Tetris Remixes
  
• Snap - The Power
  
• Capella - U Got 2 Know
  
• Bedrock - For What You Dream Of

I just want to give some major propers to Showtime not only for having the nuts to produce and broadcast Queer As Folk, but also for having exactly the most importnat information on the show readily available and indexed perfectly.

First the Deer Hunter craze and now this! Tell you what, I've got a great idea for a game, there's a populaiton of prairie dogs overunning a prairie in New Mexico, and only you can stop them throught the use of tactical nuclear warheads! I call it Prairie Dog Nuker.

I don't know about most people, but the reason shooters are usually fun for me is becuase the bad guys fight back. If I wanted to shoot things that had no chance in hell of offering any resistance, I'd go out in the desert and shoot some groceries, that might at least be fun.

Cripes, is it just me or when everyone played Quake for the first time, were they very upset that they had to shoot dogs? "Hah" *BLAM* "Take that fucker!" *POW!* "A faceful of shotgun, you like that?" *BLAM* *SPLAT!* "Look at them guts fly!" *RAT AT AT AT* *Yip!* ....

"Oh no.... a puppy!? I shot a puppy? Why god, why?"

Well, I can figure how to fix that screwed up post down there, I guess I'll have to ask Ernie.

And in mismatched domain names, try and ffind some kind of connection with this one: www.Duh-2000.com.

Spotted scrawled in magic marker on gas station pump this morning: "Cancer, don't drink the water!".

And in the "No Shit, Sherlock" department:

I dislike discrimination as much as the next guy, but if you take up two seats, I mean, you're taking up two seats. Maybe airliners need those special accomodatory seats like in movie theaters.

Apparently video games contain unhealthy messages for girls. I hate to break it to you, but Barbie and uhhh, ohhh.... say the fashion industry might present some unrealistic body images, too.

And finally, I think I've mentioned this a hundred times over. But I think they're missing the main od thign about the Hundred Acre Woods, in that Christopher Robin thinks his stuffed animals talk to him.

A new record, news item to internet domain in like what.... 1 week?

(Thanks to Jo-Anne)

So, we've got a total moron for a president. I expect in two years the stormtroopers will rea that statement and drag me off to Political Rehabilition Camp. I'm not that upset, really. People are always saying, "Oh, well we should have a smart president, one who wasn't arrested so much, one who can tie his own shoes, etc. etc." But I think what people are forgetting is that we're supposed to elect a president that is representative of the peopl

People really really have a difficult time seeing things from other people's perspective. A great example of this is in Sound and Fury, a documentary about two familes, one hearing and one deaf, debating getting cochlear implants for their children. I cannot, at this time, think of a better film I have seen yet this year.

I may not have seen half these words before, but thanks to my SAT latin and greek roots training, I can figure about half of them out....

...and then regret doing so.

(Thanks? to Mytutanka)

Signs of Dorkosity:

#1: While watching Mortal Kombat: during the scene where Katana advises Liu Kang to use "The element that brings life" in his upcoming fight against Sub-Zero, you think (or better yet say), "What, carbon?"

#2: While watching the Pepsi commercial featuring an Albert Einstein impersator, that damned Pepsi girl, and lots of hallucinatory twilight zone graphics representing Albert's inability to decide between a Pepsi or Coke: when Albert says, "One must eventually arrive at one and only one decision." you become furious and rant about his critical thinking fallacy in creating a false dilemma, that he could have chosen neither.

#3: If you diagrammed the previous sentence.

#4: While listening to that hilarious Ludacris piece What's Your Fantasy (In which he sings that he wants to li-li-li-lick me from my head to my toes) you state, "It's really great that speech-impedimented rappers can find such success in the hip-hop world. It's more inclusive than I thought."

My cubemate just came into the office with one of these puppies. It's pretty bad ass, you load the clip with ten Nerf darts and pump it up, but then when you point it at something and expect a nerf dart to fly out, BRRRRRRRRAAPPPPPP!!!! they all come shooting out rpaidly like rabid foam bees. It's like the foam dart Mac-10. There is an severe Nerf arms buildup going on here, and so far I have yet to purchase any weaponry. But I'm gonna get this guy and then when I raise my trigga finga, all you ****-er's hit the deck! Ready or not, here I come, you can't hide. Gonna fiiiiiiind you, and.....

....sorry.

As a Holiday present to you all, I've decided not to create any Amazon wishlist. someone else can have the however many bytes of information that would have used on Amazon's servers. In the interest of consumerism, though, I will provide the top ten records I wish I had but don't (in no particular order).

• The Immortals - Mortal Kombat
  
• Aurora - Ordinary World
  
• Rollergirl - Dear Jessie
  
• Antiloop - Mars Needs Women
  
• Secret Service - Oh Susie
  
• Towa Tei - Rydeen
  
• 2Unlimited - Think Y'all Ready For This?
  
• Freestyle - Stop The Rock
  
• Crystal Method - Trip Like I do
  
• Chemical Brothers - Block Rockin' Beats
  

Another reason that the Tomb Raider movie is going to be a wonderful thing. Chris Barrie will be in it. Yes, the Rimmer Chris Barrie.

If he plays a sniveling, cowardly, egotistical little worm with aspirations far beyonf his abilities, this film may just be Oscar material.

Man what I wouldn't give for this guy.

Now, I know a guy who once had not only Fortess Maximus, but also Skorponok! These things were great! I mena, it actually took some kind of serious thinking to figure out how to transform them form robot form the battle fortress to giant scorpion to what-have-you.

Nowadays, the Transformers come with a difficulty rating on the package, from beginner to advanced. I looked through a few of the models they had at Target, and the most difficult one they had was only 4/5hsh of total difficulty. I wanted the hardest damn thing they had to transform, but nothing topped off the scale.

Personally I never read the instructions on how to transform the thigns. Seriously, how hard could they get? But now a difficulty scale? Honestly, if you really have to consider how hard a transformer is to play with befor eyo ubuy it for your kid, maybe, just maybe, it's time for remedial motor-skill class.

And furthermore things to do nude. You can find almost anything you want online and everything you don't. Oddly enough, having sex isn't among the list of good nude activites.

Things I have done - 9, 19, 29, 31, 40, 46, 81, 95, 116, 122, 123, 138, 150, 170

Very bad ideas - 4, 36, 41, 84, 172

HA HA HA - 57

Yipe - 186

But the real laughs are in the list of things not to do nude.

You know, though. If raverporn.net put up pictures of nude breakdancers (not to do nude #9) I would sign up for it so fast. I don't are if it's guys or girls. I want nude breakdancing videos.

You know, I was just kidding when I brought it up, but apparently there is indeed Dukes of Hazzard slash fiction.

"Cletus slowly moved his lips along Bo’s erection in nipping kiss, with an occasional flick of his against the hot, hard flesh"

Now, I'm an open-minded guy, but EWWWWWWW!!!!!

Seriously, people! I mean, at least with the X-files the characters are slightly sexy and have some kind of tension between them, but Bo and Cletus? I mean, do people named Cletus even have sex?

Mmmmnnnn, yeah. Had an excellently awesome and wonderful time on Friday. The party was broken up around 5, but it was only a couple blocks from my house, so it was just a short refreshing walk home. The party was held in a video arcade, which was such a tear! I mean, do I dance to the music? Do I play video games? What a dilemma, but y'know, that's the kind of dilemma I can deal with. Somehow I managed to judiciously schedule my time between the two with plenty of time left over for hangin with my friends.
I've got to give serious kudos to Raven Productions for throwing a hell of a shindig.