Top 5 current bad/weird habits:

1) Checking for belly-button lint every 15 minutes

2) Counting out the syllables of people's sentences/song lyrics/signs/whatever on my hands to see if they add up to ten.

3) Pickin' mah nose

4) Unprovoked growling

5) Bending my head over to the right 'till it looks like i'm going to snap it off and then cracking every joint in my neck. Repeat for left side.


Okay, so I watched that Temptation Island...... thing last night. I found it very entertaining. It's amazing the things that people will do when they're on TV. I wonder how many of those folks are really that way when they don't think they're on camera. So, even when our heroines start tearing up, I only find it amusing. I can't generate any empathy for these people, it's worse than fictionalized TV. At least the ficitonal characters seem genuine.

That's the problem with all these Reality TV Shows these days. Everything formthe Real World to Survivor to Fear or whatever. The people they pick for the shows are all the same. I know... I know.... they claim to get a nice cross-seciton of society, try and mix up political views and cultures and lifestyles, but the truth is, deep down inside all these people have one important thing in common. They are all people who want to be on TV.

Well, of course to some extent, we all want to be on TV. I want to be on TV, I don't really know anyone who doesn't. But these people are willing to make beign on television their life. They're willing to risk their jobs, dignity, and relationships by doing whatever show they're on for however long. You know what you clal people who make beign on television their life? Actors.

So, I feel these folks on whatever show are really just deserving of pretty much whatever they get. "Hey, my boyfriend is having fun with other women, *sob*" Um... what the hell did you expect? You signed up for TEMPTATION ISLAND? What you thought that there'd just be a lot of delicious pastries strewn about to lure you off of your diet? ugh.

The one truly great reality TV show, in my mind, was Candid Camera. It was pretty damn funny. And you know why it was funny? Becuase the people on it had no idea that they were on TV. Now that was comedy. Newer, cruder shows like Tom Green and Jackass follow suit, and though I find them revolting and sick, I sure do think they're funny. So, my solution to making these characters on these shows more agreeable would be: kidnap them.

Yup, you find people in committed relationships. You know, genuinely committed, the kind that don't sign up for Temptation Island. And then you enter them in this twisted little game. Of course, that would be wrong and horrible, but at least I would be sad when the couples broke up.

Just think how much more interesting television would be with unwilling or unknowing participants. The Real World would simply be a low-rent, beautiful victorian in SF laced with hidden cameras , I gaurantee you'll get a mix of strange people. You can even select the participants! With Fear, you could just fuck with people at a hotel by generating holograms and bumping thigns aroud and flicking the lights on and off. Temptation Island could be reduced simply to contestants trying to seduce people who are away from their loved ones on business trips.

So, networks, I will gladly accept royalties, but not blame for this idea.

Okay, I'm gonna rant, yup. Can I just once drive to work without something pissing me off? Just for today, no traffic-related pissing-offitudes, but lord knows I get enough of those. How about a minivan with the license plate frame: "I'm going to Heaven." Well, whoopty-fucking-doo for you. It must be nice to be privy to the Lord's judgement. I wish I was so damn special. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't vanity a deadly sin? Shouldn't you at least try to be a little more humble and less cocksure? I admit that if there is a God in Heaven, I'm probbaly fucked for afterlife, but just cause you go to church doesn't mean they're cleaning you a spot in the good place.

And on the radio, oh criminy! What is it with these dance numebrs nowadsy that stop in the middle and have this low-voiced guy (who sounds pretty obviously pitch-shifted, btw) telling me to stop and feel the phat bass, or that he's the DJ and that now goign to dissect the anatomy of the track, or that I should praise the DJ? If I wanted to hear people talk to me in ow voices, I would've dropped acid, I want to dance, numbnuts. And for crying out loud, don't tell me to praise the DJ, I'l give him props myself if he's god. But I sweart anyone who spins that damn record where the voice says to "raise your hands up and praaaaaaise the DJ", deserve to get their decks peed on.

Okay, that's it for now.


Time to change te corner image. That particular rendering of me comes courtesy of the talented Susi.

Hee hee heeeeee! Tokyo Bus Guide no, seriously. Ha ha! that's great. I don' think it'd fly in the states, but I said the same thing about Samba De Amigo and Typing Of The Dead. I've only seen Handcart Adventure in one place in the States, speaking of f-ed up Japanese imports. But oddly, I still can't find any links for it, and I'm really too lazy to look too hard.

Well, I've got my St. Paddy's day planned out, green whiskey, bailey's, green urine and Leprechauns 4 and 5.

Where else can you find Ice-T, Coolio and Warwick Davis on-screen together? It really makes me wonder about Ice-T's agent. I mean, he's an actor okay, he's been in some decent films.... i think. But then I stop and wonder, "if they offered me a chance to star in a Leprechaun movie, would I do it?" Fuck yeah, they wouldn't even have to pay me very much. "Oh, but you're not famous.", scoff the naysayers. "Piddlewafers!", say I, "I would be even more willing were I famous!"

Wow! Stephen Hawkign put his genius powers to the test and debunked astrology!

Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but um.... that doesn't seem like a task worthy of our foremost cosmologist. Kind of like, "Buffo Opens Pickle Jar!" Sheesh, man must be resting on his laurels.


Favorite movie quote of all time as of right now, "My cat can eat a whole watermelon!" - Ruben And Ed.

Yes, that movie is extremely strange.

top 5 cds I would take with me to a desert island

DJ Shadow - Endtroducing

Smiths - Louder Than Bombs

Hooverphonic - A New Stereophonic Sound Spectacular

TMBG - Flood

The Dead Milkmen - Soul Rotation

I'm not sure if this project is really jacked or really funny.

Incidentally, I'm only one of four people I know any more who don't have cell phones, not including family. I know it's only a matter of time. I try and use the excuse that If I'm not at home, and not at the office, then I probably don't want to be reached, but I admit, there are plenty of times when one would have come in very handy.

Actually, Ernie and I were recently wonderig when it is and is not an inappropriate time to use one's cell phone. I determined that a good rule of thumb is "If it's inappropropriate to start talking to yourself, it's inappropriate to use a cell phone."

An observation from Sam Penrose on the tendency of violent video games to affect the youth:

If PacMan had affected us as kids, we'd be running around in dark
rooms, munching pills and listening to electronic music.

and hmmmm, you know that Pac-maze looks kinda like a blacklit room. bright clothes.... uh oh.
Mmmm.... power pills.

Well, it's just a good thign we're not running out into the street.

I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert,

but I can live and breath and see the sun in wintertime.

So while I'm sitting in traffic today, I see a woman driving a minivan, and she's doing her makeup in a comapct that she's holding, not even having the decency to use the rear-view mirror. It's just a shame I wasn't right behind her at a stoplight. I'd love to see how her makeup looked after I blew my horn.


So, as I'm sitting here at work, wondering why I have to work on MLK day, I figure todyas' theme song should be Public Enemy's "By The Time I Get to Arizona".

At least I get to leave early, and at the risk of sounding like G i'm off to see my sweetyhoneydarlingsugarbottombabypumpkinnummywubbumscoocoobutter, hahahahahaah doh. ; )

So, I know it's Winter.

Mostly becuase it's January, but also when I have to scrape frickin' frost off my car window. Dammit, if I don't have snow, I don't need frost. Plus my car will seize up if I idle, so I have to go up to every stop and put on the handbrake so I put int he cluthc while in neutral and gun it. So now the person behind me wonders why my brakes aren't on, and the person next me think I want to race.

I have the world's only Rubix car. Oh, and an interesting thought I had this mornign which I'm not sure should make me feel bad or make me feel like a big stud: My car is probably about as old as my girlfriend. hmmm

This last Saturday. I had the pleasure of watching two Keanu Reeves movies, the aptly named Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (for having both Bill and Ted in it, and being excellent) and the also aptly named My Private Idaho (for um... taking place in Idaho and making little sense).

I have come to the conclusion that he is an excellent actor, as logn as he is playing the part of someone who is confused, overwhelmed, or simply stupid. I mean, yo umust admit that he's perfected the art of saying "whoa..."

Well, S-Blog 2 is up. there goes my productivity for the next few weeks. I am once again a peanut on this horrible, horrible thing that threatens to eat all of my working hours away as I try follow exactly who said what to whom and why and who was that person anyway and where were they from? Christing Jesus.

Mad props, yo to Ernie for actually coding that monster. I couldn't even begin to imagine.

Mmmm.... spooooo...... Now, if only they had it come in different flavors, like chocolate, strawberry or orange. I would be so sold. Mostly becuase it would give me an opportunity to say, "Guess what? I come in different flavors (ba-dum-tsh!)"

And no, the male testimonial is not me.... honestly.... no, seriously it isn't.