So I finally went and saw Episode 2, and it was totally worth it to see Yoda go off on Count Dooku like a rabid ferret. I'm also glad they had a throwaway comment by Padme about Anakin using a Jedi mind trick on her. Somehow I had imagined a conjugal scene like this:

Anakin: It's getting hot in here. So take off all your clothes.

Padme: I am getting so hot. I want to take my clothes off.

And as for all the foofaraw about Jango (and hence the clone army) looking "totally Latino" and thus being a thinly-veiled allegory about immigration fears is B.S. Personally, I've never met a Latino person who spoke with a New Zealand accent.

Besides, are these critics ignoring the fact that Jango and Boba (who I guess is essentially Jango, being a clone and all) are two of the series quintessential bad-asses? Thes bounty hunters are way cooler than the actual heroes of the series. It's true that the series is extremely whitewashed in terms of its main characters, but look at how interesting the white characters are against the colored ones. When you scan the series for bad mofos, you come up with Jango, Boba, Lando and Windu. Admittedly, Han was a pretty tough cookie, but fell short in the style department.

And speaking of armies of marching clones, I hope episode 3 explains how these efficient lockstep killing machines degenerate into the bumbling blaster-fodder we experienced in episodes 4-6. Apparently they replace droids entirely as soldiers. Correct me if I'm retarded, but wouldn't growing a vast army of clones, raising them, feeding them, training them and supplying them with weapons be vastly more expensive and time-consuming than simply mass-producing battle droids? The argument given in Episode 2 was that they were superior due to their ability to think creatively (How creative a thinker one who is raised to be obedient and docile from day one who hangs out with only other soldiers who think and act just like him is another question entirely (and, on another note, doesn't R2 generally save everyone's ass by thinking creatively?)), but really history has shown that generally, the side with the ability to throw tons and tons of soldiers at the opposition comes out on top.

Furthermore, in the second trilogy, if I remember correctly, there was a droid bounty hunter named something like IG-88. If he's a bounty hunter, then he must be a pretty efficient hunter and warrior, why don't they just copy his programming? Wouldn't that be cheaper than raising clones? Anyhow, I'm progressing so far into dork territory that the possibility of ever getting laid again is receding into the far distance, so I won't get into the odd Jedi proclivity for fighting one's masters (i.e. Vader vs. Obi, Vader vs. Sidious, Dooku vs. Yoda).

Addendum: Okay, Darth Maul was also pretty bad-ass, and he was black... and red.

Yeah, I know. Sorry about that, suffice to say it was entirely not my fault, Yahoo Wallet is an unnecessarily complex pain in the ass, and it's fixed now.

Now it's time to post all of the... like... 3 whole thoughts I've had in the past 4 days that didn't involve Thora Birch and a pot full of honey.


Well, if they ever decide to do another Real World: San Francisco, the producers need look no further than Salon Personals.

"Why you should get to know me: Don't... seriously... I'm a spiteful, malicious, conniving, mean-spirited, downright rotten, evil doer..."

For crying out loud, I bet that guy gets more responses than anyone else. Ugh, not to make any sweeping generalizations, but everyone is SF is just so sickeningly hip.

"Having a brain that actually contains a semblance of intelligence is kickass." Yeah, maybe we can go ou tand just complain about how stupid the rest of humanity is. Hell, if being as negative as these folks is appealing, I should be beating off the ladies with a bat.

You know, sour grapes taste better then you'd think.


Well, if I ran my own pornography site, these are the top 10 names I would have chosen:

  1. (taken, but not active)
  2. (not taken)
  3. (taken, but not pornographic.)
  4. (not taken)
  5. (not taken)
  6. (taken, but not porn(x7).com)
  7. (not taken)
  8. (taken, but not active. I can hardly wait!)
  9. (not taken)
  10. (not taken)

(As an interesting sidenote, is taken, yet is not. Go figure)

So is it worse to have a terrible nightmare and then wake up and feel the relief that it is over, or to have a dream where everything is fantastic and then wake up and feel the disappointment of it not being real?

Personally, I'm inclined towards the latter. Last night I dreamt I was on a Fear Factor-esque game show. A telephone booth was suspended many feet in the air from a sky hook and I was clinging to the cargo net holding it up, tossing marbles off of its roof. Upon completion, I learned I had won a million dollars. A million dollars! Wow! Of course, being the cautious individual that I am, I made sure to find out exactly how this was being paid to me before celebrating too much. Turns out that after taxes I received a lump sum of $630,000. Needless to say I was stoked and wasn't sure about how to break the news to everyone (apparently my friends and family were unaware of my participation in this game show). It seemed like there was no downside to the situation at all... until I woke up.

Understandably, It was tough to get out of bed this morning.

This seesm to be a recurring theme in my dreams, making my life into a convincing chunk of hunky-doriness just so I can wake up and realize how much my life is neither hunky nor dory. Perhaps it's becuase I enjoy nightmares too much. I find dreams about being chased (most notably by Godzilla, a giant lawnmower, or an evil midget clown) actually rather exciting. The only nightmares I really don't like are ones where people I know die or where my teeth fall out. Yick, it gives me the creeps just thinking about that one. But I can always count on my clever brain thinking up new ways to get back at me for destroying it by watching Fear Factor.

I hate you, brain.


How to scam Great America and have a great time for free:

Step 1: Get free tickets to a company event and invite a bunch of flakes who aren't going to show. Also invite some non-flakes and at least one person who has a leg injury or at least owns a cast or brace they can wear.

Step 2: Scalp remaining tickets for half price to a small family and really make their day.

Step 3: Enter park, go to Guest Relations (Not Guest Services, apparently there's a difference between relating to one's guests and actually serving them.) and show them your gimpy friend (or faux-gimpy as the case may be) and get a special gimp-pass to get on the rides without waiting in line.

Step 4: Spend the money you earned from scalping on food and games, use the gimp-pass to go to the head of the line on major rides.

Step 5: On the way out go to the Lost and Found and say you lost some sunglasses the last time you were there a few weeks ago. If they ask what the look like, say, "Like regular glasses, only darker". Take your pick of free sunglasses form the box. You may also want to try "recovering" the digital camera, walkman, and supermodels you "lost' last time you were there.

Congratulations, you have just had a great time at Great America and only paid $10 for parking.

(Thanks, MJ!)

OMFG! Ein Stuck Von Alf is the best stage production I have ever seen. And they didn't even perform it on a stage! Rather it took place in someone's backyard and living room. Furthermore, it was free!

The play gradually became more and more German. Their English became progressively accented with German until eventually the entire third act was in German. And there is nothing more hilarious than episodes of Alf being performed in German. If you don't believe me, watch one sometime. And anyone who can do a dead-on Willie Tanner impersonation in both English and German is really going places. That man's got a bright future.

So in short: OMFG! And OMFG! is not a term I use lightly.