Okay, here we go. Since I wasn't nominated in any of the categories, I'm starting my campaign right now for the following possible Anti-Bloggy Awards categories: Sour Grapes Over Not Being Nominated for a Bloggy, and Most Shameless Whoring for an Anti-Bloggy.

First of all, here's my sour grapes over not being nominated for Best-Kept Secret. I propose that all contestants should submit their average daily page hits, or the amount of links to their site. Only if their daily hits or amount of links beats mine should they be allowed to win. Of course, this begs the question: "What about those people who get even less hits than you, Ken?" Well, their sites suck ass, that's why no one visits them. Mine is terrific, it's just hat only the coolest people come here. Not to mention the fact that any blog nominated for this category should not win, since it's obviously achieved a healthy amount of recognition.

And as for not being nominated in the Most Humorous Weblog: Well, I may not currently be funnier than LYD or Davezilla or the rest of those nominated, but I've got something that will clinch me the category next year for sure! If you are prepared, read on, and witness the awesome might of my humor!

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"

Ha! Beat that, suckas!


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