Man, I really hate it when I see a person driving all crazy-like, and they've got their kid in the car. Normally, when I see a person all crazy-like, I like to fantasize about them driving onto the shoulder without signaling to overtake someone who's already going over the speed limit, and then hitting a patch of oil and spinning into a culvert, rolling over twice, and lying in a crumpled heap, nose-down and sinking into mud, as their ruptured gasoline tank drips fuel which starts pooling near the brake pedal and getting dangerously close to dropped cell phone stuck behind the gas pedal. After struggling fruitlessly to free his broken body from the twisted metal, the driver realizes that this is the end, and asks Jesus to forgive him for his life of self-absorption and inconsideration of others, but then, just before he accepts the holy light of the savior into his heart, his wife calls on the phone to let him know she's sick of his being a jerk and wants a divorce, which sparks the pool of gasoline nad ignites the pool of fuel, engulfing the car and driver in searing flames, which nicely eases his transistion into an eternity of torment in the fiery lakes of Hell.

So like, if there's a kid in the car, the fantasy is not quite as satisying, and I don't think it's fair that they should be able to rob me of that. I've tried imagining that the kid is thrown free of the wreckage and falls through the open sunroof of a passing Miata and into the arms of a caring gay couple, at which point the kid foreswears his former parents, who were raising him to be a jerk like his dad anyhow, and grows up to become a brilliant scientist who cures cancer, but I think that's a little too far fetched. If there's one thing I like my fantasies to be, it's realistic.

Perhaps a vision in which the father raises his kid to be just as much of a jerk as he is (probable), and then later, when the father is languishing in a rest home (possible), the kid is such a jerk that he doesn't ever visit. Heh heh heh, bastard... that's what he gets for driving so crazy-like!


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