Customized license plate frames. I wanted to get one at the mall that said "Customized license plate frames / are never funny or cool.", but I have to admit I chickened out.

"Staff", "Event Staff", or "Security" T-shirts. Worn in a non-event setting, they make no sense. Worn in the context of an event, they just make you stand out as someone to be fucked with by the real security. A word to the wise, the efficacy of any given ploy is directly inversely proportional to the amount of people who attempt the ploy.

"What, you're coughing? MAYBE IT'S SARS!!!111LOL!!!!" I know it's a disease that's killed hundreds of people that you've never met, which is the basis for some pretty exxxtreme comedy, but the fact remains is that it was old and played out before it even began. The next time someone says that to me, I'm going to say, "Actually yes, I do have SARS!" and then I'm going to grab their head and blow my nose into their mouth.


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