Now, I'm certainly not encouraging this, but if I were a terrorist organization determined to perpetrate some act of depravity on the United States, I'd simply wait for the Terror Alert color to drop to green. After all, green means go.

With that, I'll gladly bet anyone a buck that the Terror Alert does not drop to green anytime in the next 50 years.

What the hell are those different colors supposed to represent to me anyhow? They don't appear to explain this on the ready.gov site. Exactly how scared should I be when it's Yellow? Does Orange mean that I shouldn't breathe too deeply? Do I get to stay home from work on a "Red" day? Currently, I'm interpreting the Green as jealously, then up from there to depression, cowardice, nausea, and anger.

Personally, I think they should have used a Mild-Medium-Spicy meter, which I believe more effectively communicates a level of preparedness and anxiety.