Last night I had this horrible dream that I was leaving Safeway and Jay Leno accosted me in the parking lot with a camera crew, demanding to see what was in my grocery bag. I told him I'd rather not, but he wrestled me to the ground and pried it out of my hands. The only things inside were Pop-Tarts, mayonaisse, a bottle of vodka, and a box of latex glaves.


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